 THE PROBLEM
I'm often told there are not enough women on Feesch, or that messages are often ignored by women. Well the reason is that women often leave because they receive very poor treatment from us blokes. They then leave, reducing the number of women, making the problem even worse for those that are left.
The most common reason for a woman to leave the site is that she is fed up with men starting conversations with lines like "want to cyber?" or "are you looking for a good time?".
Most men would not behave like this in real life, most would not go up to a woman in a pub and ask her point blank if she fancies a shag.
Well here is the big shock, the Internet IS "real life". Because it is so de-humanised, it's easy to think of the person we are talking to as just a nickname or a number, but they are a real person and deserve to be treated as such.
THE FIRST MESSAGE
Even if all you are looking for is cybersex or a one night stand, you will stand more chance of success if you talk to her nicely, as a person. You also have to remember that she is getting loads of messages all the time, and she doesn't have time to reply to all of them. You need to get her attention by being ORIGINAL.
Instead of just sending out the same general message to every woman that joins, try focussing on just one or two, look at their details, see what they are interested in. Send them a message that shows you have taken the time to find out about them and that you have written a personal message just for them.
THE REPLY
If you get a reply, start a conversation. Be witty, be interested in her. If she wants what you want, she will get around to it in her own time. Rush her and she will add you to her ignore list. Even if she doesn't want what you want, you'll still have a nice conversation, you'll have made a friend. Maybe, she will introduce you to a friend of hers...
Above all, be honest. Be subtle yes, but honest. Don't try to seduce her with compliments and poetry if you only want a shag. Most women, if you treat them like a person, are quite capable of deciding if they just want a shag too. Play with their heart strings and things will go badly for the both of you.
I know there are many men out there who do talk nicely to women already, all I can say to them is well done and keep up the good work. You are the few who keep women on Feesch. I also know that not every man is just looking to get laid, many are just looking for friendship or possibly a relationship. I believe they can still get better results by following this guide.
MEETING UP
Finally, if it ever gets to the stage of meeting up, a few more points to remember. Make sure you both know what is expected of each other. "we'll see how it goes" sounds good in theory, but this can often lead to disappointment, hurt or embarrassment.
It's also a good idea to speak on the phone first, you'll get a much better idea of how things are going to and if you'll get along or not. Many people come across very differently on the net. Offer her your phone number, she can withhold the number or even call from a phone box if she wants to.
Plan to meet each other somewhere public. If you meet at your place, she will be scared. Meet at her place? Well most will not be comfortable with letting you know where they live. Women are extremely paranoid, especially about meeting men off the net.
Make sure you will both be able to find each other, photos on the net are often not very realistic... If things go wrong (you are running late for instance), make sure you have some way of contacting each other. Even if you don't have each others mobile numbers, perhaps you could leave a message with the landlord of the pub?
Some people have met plenty of people off the net, for some it will be their first time. If it's still new for her, expect her to be petrified. Keep your distance and take it slowly.
CONCLUSION
If you follow all of these tips, then given a bit of luck and a bit of time, you will find what you are looking for. If you don't believe me, take a look at the testimonials page. It's full of 'thank you's from men and women who have made loads of new friends, found love and in some cases even got married and had children. I hope to get one from you one day!
Happy chatting!
Jason Shallcross
Feesch ListMaster
listmaster@feesch.co.uk |
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