 THE PROBLEM
I'm often told there are not enough women on Feesch, or that messages are often ignored by women. Well the reason is that women often leave because they receive very poor treatment from us blokes. They then leave, reducing the number of women, making the problem even worse for those that are left.
The most common reason for a woman to leave the site is that she is fed up with men starting conversations with lines like "want to cyber?" or "are you looking for a good time?".
While the men are being told to talk nicely to you like a real person, most women could do with a few tips as well.
YOUR PROFILE
By far the biggest problem is with ambiguity. What may sound like an innocent comment can often be very differently interpreted, the most common of which is the word "fun". Saying you are a fun girl, or a girl looking for some fun in your life, is like saying you are a slut that will sleep with anyone.
The other big problem tends to be with nicknames, especially ones with the word "sexy" in or "naughty". Men will also normally go for the girls who use their first name like "sarah" in preference to less sexy names like "DangerMouse", because they are more feminine.
Obviously, posting pictures of yourself in a bikini, or cleavage shots, will get you a lot more attention from the men out there with one thing on their minds.
If you find you are getting a lot of perverts contacting you, you need to make sure your comments are very clear and leave no room for interpretation. Try for instance, saying that you are happily married with kids (even if you are not). This will dramatically reduce the less savoury messages.
Finally, many girls get overwhelmed when they first join. The answer to this is to suspend yourself for the first day or two, then re-activate your account. You will no longer be listed on the "recently joined" list, and you will get a lot less messages.
MESSAGES
Most men that contact you in are actually very nice in real life, they just forget that you are a real person when they talk to you on the Net. Why not try educating them rather than ignoring them? Simply give them the choice, talk you nicely or join the other jerks on your ignore list. Do it in a friendly but firm way, see how many of them sit down and beg like a dog!
If you are fed up with the low caliber of men contacting you, why not take the initiative? Why not do a search yourself, and actually contact them? Most men will be totally knocked off balance (and probably fall of their chair) by receiving a message at all from a woman. They will very much appreciate the attention, I can tell you!
If you send the messages, you get to choose who you talk to, rather than picking your way through the dregs that wash up on your shore. Be careful how you start your conversation, "you look like a really nice guy" will probably do better than "nice arse".
MEETING UP
Finally, if it ever gets to the stage of meeting up, a few more points to remember. Make sure you both know what is expected of each other. "we'll see how it goes" sounds good in theory, but this can often lead to disappointment, hurt or embarrassment.
It's also a good idea to speak on the phone first, you'll get a much better idea of how things are going to and if you'll get along or not. Many people come across very differently on the net. If he offers you his phone number, you can withhold your number or even call from a phone box if you want to.
Plan to meet each other somewhere public. Don't go to his place or you may feel threatened. Don't meet at your place unless you are very comfortable with letting him know where you live.
Make sure you will both be able to find each other, photos on the net are often not very realistic... If things go wrong (you are running late for instance), make sure you have some way of contacting each other. Even if you don't have each others mobile numbers, perhaps you could leave a message with the landlord of the pub?
Some people have met plenty of people off the net, for some it will be their first time. If it's still new for you, expect to be petrified. Keep your distance and take it slowly.
CONCLUSION
If you follow all of these tips, then given a bit of luck and a bit of time, you will find what you are looking for. If you don't believe me, take a look at the testimonials page. It's full of 'thank you's from men and women who have made loads of new friends, found love and in some cases even got married and had children. I hope to get one from you one day!
Happy chatting!
Jason Shallcross
Feesch ListMaster
listmaster@feesch.co.uk |
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